The art of gifting

By the time I reached my late 40s, I was replete with "stuff". What do I mean? Home, vehicle, furnishings, kitchen and household goods come first in the 30s. Then, the 40s allow you to buy art you like, the quality personal items like clothes, accessories, jewelry and makeup.

This also became true for most of my friends and those in my inner circle. This is wonderful because it makes space to look beyond the material. One of the lesser by products is that gifting becomes tricky. What do you give a person who has everything, has specific tastes and is picky? And it is equally difficult to receive because I know that this something I have already or may not need.

One of the ideas is to ask and gift what the person requests...for me, that has never sat well. The biggest joy of receiving and giving gifts is the surprise. That feeling of wonder while unwrapping the gift and the joy of the reveal! The other idea is to specifically refuse gifts. This is almost impossible for me to do now because I feel it blocks flow and receptivity. With the gift, I feel I have said no to the givers feelings for me, the care and the love.

So what works? Here is a recent example from Diwali. I went to meet a client for a long overdue catch up. She is someone I love for her soft strength and her idealistic world view. Our conversations are meaningful and filled with sweet melancholy for what can be and what gets lost in the mundane. After a lovely afternoon of catching up over coffee, she opens her bag to give me my Diwali gift.

I opened the package there because I wanted to see it with her so I could say thank you. And what do I receive? Home made chivda (this rice flake savory that I absolutely love) in two varieties and gorgeous besan ladoos in these beautiful reusable glass jars. She adds softly: I know you are taking care of your health so I used very little oil and sugar. Hope you enjoy it.

I took two long weeks to finish the treats...I allowed myself a spoonful of yumminess and love every afternoon as my snack. Through this period, I still met my wellness goals, kept my weight milestones on track and was able to work out and sleep so well. And I believe it is because I got out of my own way and allowed myself to receive the love, the gratefulness and the care mixed in those treats.

One of the essences of slow living is gratefulness and with no evidence except my own experience, when I am grateful, I also feel well and my body automatically feels healthier. What do you think?